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kinda freaked out

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 7:59 pm
by addonsfan
well, not too long ago (about an hour or so) a friend of mine came out of the closet to me. it really freaked me out. I thought he was coming on to me, and I got nauseous and kinda walked off without saying anything. I'm wondering if that was a reasonable reaction. have any of you ever had this happen? if so, what did you do? should I still be friends with this guy, even though I am against gays and am some-what of a **** basher?

I mean... idk... this guy used to be a good friend of mine, and we always used to check out the hot girls that passed us. and now to find out he's ****?? I seriously felt like throwing up after he told me. if I didn't see it before, I wonder how many other people I know are ****. I would've him never had came out of the closet... and atleast not to me. why meee??

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:41 pm
by Noyb
Eewwwww :shock:

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:07 am
by addonsfan
or as some **** guys would say... "eoooowy"

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:58 am
by Sara
Perhaps he thought your frienship was strong enough to handle the truth--I guess he was wrong. I sorry you missed the opportunity to learn more about life around you.

And,no, he was not coming on to you, he was looking for help!

My reaction--to both of your reactions---grow-up!

Sara

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:33 am
by André
I agree with Sara. There's too much in life to care what someone's sexual preference is. It doesn't make them any less of a person.

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 3:35 pm
by darth
According to the recent news, some american denominations of the christan faith are splitting up due to this issue. There are many religions; But one of the largest, the moslem religion, I would like to know thier position on this. Perhaps a forum menber of the moslem faith could explain, that is, if he/she should choose to do so.

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 3:35 pm
by hornakapopolis
If you think about it, you (and society) is more likely to be harmed physically, emotionally, and spiritually by a bad driver than a **** person. So, unless you spend your days hunting bad drivers around, I'd consider spending less time worrying about one aspect of a person's life over all of the others.

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 4:10 pm
by addonsfan
Sara wrote:Perhaps he thought your frienship was strong enough to handle the truth--I guess he was wrong. I sorry you missed the opportunity to learn more about life around you.

And,no, he was not coming on to you, he was looking for help!

My reaction--to both of your reactions---grow-up!

Sara
I already thought about it this way... and I just can't agree. it's really confusing, atleast for me, when this happens to you... and in the way it happened. the whole thing has actually changed the way I see **** people, I don't care if they're **** or not (as in, I won't bash them for being ****)... but it has also turned me into somewhat of a homophobic. I just don't want to be around them.

I agree with hornakapopolis in that **** people are harmless. in fact being **** is probably more harmful, because of all the prejudice people... but a bad driver isn't on purpose, it's the unnatural choice that makes some people not like them. if a terrorist were to walk in the room, could you honestly say that you would'nt mind being around the terrorist, even if you believe that terrorist's beliefs are wrong? maybe that's a bad example, since indeed terrorists are harmful, but how about someone who is from Iraq, and looks like a terrorist? even if they're not a terrorist, can you honestly say you wouldn't feel atleast a little uneasy near that person?

well, I'm not giving up on my friend... atleast I can try to help him see it my way... Friday, it's straight porn and partying with females for us. if he really came to me with this problem as a friend, then atleast I owe it to him to try to help.

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 4:21 pm
by Noyb
Good man :)

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:31 pm
by statm1
Well, IMHO, I don't think its your place to try to change him Addonsfan.. As im assuming you want to have an entire day full of porn? I would think that would make him extremely uncomfortable considering he just came out to you. I think you should just accept that fact that he is who he is. Coming out was probably an extremely hard thing to do for you friend. And doing that to him would just make it worse..

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:36 pm
by Chef_Garry
I believe it's been pretty well established that sexual preference is more likely predetermined that a matter of choice. Disliking someone for being **** is much like disliking someone for having blue eyes or the colour of their skin (wait - we do that :cry: ).

I have a few friends that are **** and make no apology for it. Neither should they. I'm entirely sure that who (or what) they sleep with is irrelevant to my relationship with them. And if someone should make a pass, a simple no thanks will do just fine. The same applies regardless of the gender of the person.

One of the most ridiculous discussions in Canada in recent years has to do with recognizing same sex marriages. The Anit side clams that same sex marriage somehow diminishes the sanctity of my own marriage which is clearly so much bull crap.

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:41 pm
by addonsfan
the porn thing was just a joke, but if I try to help him change, then I think overall I would be helping him for the better in modern day. even if I stop disliking gays, and learn to live with them, there's still the world. especially on the west coast, as we grow up we are taught by other kids to dislike gays. it's a double standard. hate gays; love lezbos. that's how it is here. any guy I know in person would agree with what I just said.

edit:
why is "l*sbians" changed to "Julies" on this forum?
l*sbian:
****

l*sbians:
lesbians

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:54 pm
by Chef_Garry
Good luck with the change thing. You're about as likely to change his eyes from blue to brown or make him shorter. All you're likely to do is alienate the friend - either you like him for who he is or you don't. Changing someone to suit your preference never works. The current divorce rate proves that. :)

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:58 pm
by addonsfan
I'm not going to try to change him, exactly... I'm just going to help him see what it's like to be straight, if that makes sense. I just have a hard time understanding why someone would be ****. it baffles me.

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:00 pm
by Chef_Garry
A fish might pretend to be a bird but it will still be damn uncomfortable up a tree.

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:05 pm
by addonsfan
and it would still baffle me why a fish would want to be a bird, and how that fish got up the tree in the first place.

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:06 pm
by Chef_Garry
That's my point. Your friend is a fish - the problem is you wanting him to be a bird, something he's not.

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:08 pm
by addonsfan
I thought you meant that he was pretending to be a bird, in order hide his bein fishy.

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:10 pm
by darth
Should the military policy of "Don't Ask Don't Tell", be applied in instances like this?

Re: kinda freaked out

Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:16 pm
by addonsfan
yes... I would have him never had told me.

I've decided I'm going to have a talk with him later today, and ask what he'd like to do, and if he'd like to go to that party on Friday. I'll make it very clear to him that I'm not ****, and not to try anything with me... because what Chef said, "a simple no thanks" probably won't work for me, and it'll be more like a simple arguement which will probably progress to a less simple fight.